Healing from Purity Culture

You're here because purity culture. You know the Church's teachings on sexuality have deeply affected you and you want to feel differently.

You're an adult. A grown arse woman/person. You know absolutely in your mind that having sex isn't bad or dirty. In fact, you long to just be able to let it all go and moan loudly. You have an image in your head of the sexually liberated woman you want to be.

But your body isn't playing ball.

Maybe you're married and so you should be allowed to enjoy it all you want.

Maybe you've left the church years ago and had a few lovers, but every time your body freezes up.

Maybe you're experiencing vulvar or vaginal pain.

Maybe you're still deconstructing and know that deconstructing your relationship with sex is most important.

Maybe you're still a practising Christian, but you know full well that what you were taught about sex and your body wasn't healthy theology and you want to learn different.

Maybe you don't know where you stand, but you want to set a much healthier example for your kids so they don't grow up feeling confused like you did.

Wherever you are, you KNOW in your head what you want. But your body has other ideas.

You freeze up in bed. You can't switch off. You still hear your old pastor's voice in your head at the worst possible moments. You struggle to know what you actually want, in sex and in relationships generally. Maybe things get serious with someone and you panic. Maybe your body holds actual physical pain around sex, and all you got from your gynecologist was, "just relax and have a glass of wine"

Here's the thing: your mind may have deconstructed, but your body remembers.

So, how do you change it?

While the Purity Culture that's rampant in the western church we know today may have originated around the 1980s and 90s, you know this is nothing new.

Demonization and suppression of sexuality, the body, and women has been a long running theme within the Church for centuries. In fact, it's a consistent thread within patriarchal religion in general, that is baked into culture, shaping the laws that get passed, attitudes towards women and the body, how medical staff treat patients, and even what sexual health information you're even allowed to see on Instagram today.

All of that adds up to one message, learned deep in your nervous system: Sex equals danger. Arousal equals danger. Vulva and vagina = danger. A woman who is loud about her pleasure and what she wants? BAD BAD VERY WRONG.

You can't logic your way out of that with a clever theological argument or a passionate TikTok about God's holy plan for marriage.

Your body needs to be shown something different and to relearn how to experience sexual pleasure as safe.

In this live 90-minute workshop, you'll get:

• How purity culture conditioning actually shows up in your body, the bedroom, your relationship, and the rest of your life (freezing up, pain, that inner voice, commitment fear)

• Why this happens: from the cultural and religious roots to what it's done to your nervous system

• The biggest myths about "healing" from this (spoiler: you don't have to blow up your marriage, leave the Faith, sleep around with zero boundaries, or have loud moaning orgasms clutching a crystal wand to prove how "liberated" you are if this doesn't feel true for you)

• Practical, no-nonsense starting points for retraining your body to learn that pleasure is safe

Think of this as a treasure hunt map where you can go on fun side quests and explore a gorgeous tropical island for funsies rather than a rulebook that if you don't get it right, you're forever doomed. (Remind you of a certain belief system?)

There's no one-size-fits-all five-step plan here, and I'll tell you straight up when something is nuanced.

This will be a mix of information to feed your brain, embodiment exercises to feed your body and spirit, and questions to reflect on. I'll share some slides and try not to info dump, and lead you through a simple practice to start connecting to your body.

Unfortunately, I almost certainly WILL info dump because I cannot help myself. Trust that you will take exactly what you need SO...

No problem. This will be recorded. Afterwards you will receive:

• The video recording

• The audio recording

• The slideshow

This workshop is specifically for women and those who were socialized as female.

It's open to those who have deconstructed and left the Faith completely, those who are still in the Faith, and those in the messy middle or spiritually polyamorous.

This is about understanding harmful messages that have absolutely no place in your body and spirit.

• You're sex positive in your head, but your body hasn't caught up

• You've done years of therapy and know you need a more body-based approach

• You've noticed freezing up, pain, or disconnection during sex that you can't fully explain

• You struggle to know what you want in the bedroom or in your relationship

• You panic when things get serious, or you avoid commitment without fully knowing why

• You wish you could be this confident, uninhibited woman about what you like and you have no idea where to start

• Format: Live, 90 minutes, on Zoom

• Price: €31

• Date/time: MONDAY 28 September, 7:00–8:30pm CEST (6:00–7:30pm UK / 1:00–2:30pm US Eastern / 12:00–1:30pm US Central / 10:00–11:30am US Pacific)

• Video and audio recording included if you can't make it live